11 Tips to Support Your Grieving Process
The grieving process can be terribly painful and uncomfortable, yet deeply transformative and awakening.
With a heavy but grateful heart, I write to you after losing two beloved family members within a few days of each other. After going through my grieving process, I wanted to share some tips that you might find beneficial as you encounter similar changes and challenges in your life. Keep in mind, there’s no “right” or “wrong” way to grieve, but there are healthier ways that provide more relief and less dis-ease. I hope these tips help minimize your pain and suffering and provide you with more gratitude and love. My intention is to help you heal from the past, make peace with the present, and allow your emotions to flow through freely.
What is grief? Defined as a feeling of deep sorrow, grief is a natural and normal response to the loss of a loved one or a thing you valued, such as a job, marriage, or home. Experiencing a loss of any kind can leave you feeling shocked, raw, vulnerable, and numb. It also leaves you susceptible to fear, guilt, shame, depression, and many other low-vibration emotions that drain your energy quickly. Unfortunately, most of us don’t know how to deal with intense pain in a healthy way. It’s helpful to understand the importance of your grieving process for your well-being. So let’s go over 11 tips to support your grieving process on all levels — physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
1. Ride the Waves
Grieving often comes in waves. It’s important to go with the flow of your emotions. Feelings are emotions, a.k.a. energy in motion, that are meant to flow freely. Ride the wave of each emotion you feel, giving yourself time to observe what comes up without judgment or attachment. Attaching to any low vibe emotions can easily sink you to lower depths. So let go of ruminating over the past. This next tip is a life-saver to keep your head above water.
2. Take a Higher Perspective
The key to grieving or any challenge is to feel emotions without attaching to them or getting stuck on them. One thing that makes it easier to do this is to look at things from a higher, spiritual perspective. This isn’t the end. Life can feel long, but it’s very short on your soul’s infinite path. Those who transition move on to a new chapter of his/her soul’s journey. At the same time, your human experience evolves to a new chapter in your life.
Although it’s easy to narrow in on your pain, it’s important to zoom out and see the big picture.
Your grief is often a reflection of the love and value you provided. That’s why it hurts so much. Acknowledging this can help transform your grief into gratitude. With great loss can come great gain. What are the possible benefits coming out of this? How do you want to live the rest of your life? Look at things from different perspectives and you’ll see the lessons, growth, and gifts around you. Grief is an opportunity to strengthen your faith that things always (eventually) work out for the highest good. Continue building your trust muscle and you’ll feel even stronger after this experience has passed.
3. Have Your Human Experience
Although it’s good to take a higher spiritual perspective, it’s important to have your human experience. It’s what you’re here for. Depending on how you look at things, grieving can be healthy. Your choices and perspective can lighten or intensify this process. Feeling “bad”? Look at things from another view or shift what you’re focusing on altogether. Breathe, shake, cry, or laugh it out. Do what you need to get present and allow things to flow again. Send yourself love and compassion for being here. Think how grateful you’ll feel when you realize how much this experience helped you grow and expand.
4. Hold Space for Yourself
Holding space for yourself means giving yourself permission to feel and express what you need. It means slowing down, getting quiet, connecting with your heart, and having compassion for yourself. Be your own best friend, your own parent, and your own love and support. Say to yourself, “I matter, how I feel matters, and what I say matters.” Need help increasing your self-worth and self-love? Check out PSYCH-K! This form of Energy Psychology helps you remove the blocks so you can find your bliss and treat yourself with the love and kindness you deserve. PSYCH-K can also transform trauma and heal past experiences.
5. Take it One Step at a Time
Feeling ungrounded and all over the place? Let go of any worries about the future. Keep gently directing your focus to the present moment and take it one step at a time. Focus on what you love such as a pet or activity. Do what helps you keep things flowing. For me, I find solace in writing, walking my dog in nature, and doing yoga outside. I also enjoy cleaning. It helps raise the vibration of my environment which naturally raises my vibration. Find what helps you connect with the present and give yourself time to allow things to unfold.
6. Feel it to Heal it
It’s hard to acknowledge your loss because then you have to also acknowledge how much it hurts. But, don’t skip this vital part of the grieving process. What you resist, persists. Grief can be a powerful tool in moving emotions THROUGH so they don’t get stuck. You don’t want to store your “issues in your tissues,” and end up with dis-ease. So be proactive in healing your wounds versus covering them. To heal and release your pain, you must first acknowledge it and feel it. Embrace your feelings and be ok with what comes up. This process won’t last forever.
Grief is here as part of your healing process, not a hindrance to it.
7. Nourish Yourself
Take your self-care seriously. You can’t grieve well if you don’t feel well. Start by hydrating with optimal hydration options such as lemon water, lime water, coconut water, or fresh-pressed juices. Fruit and fruit smoothies are also hydrating, cleanse emotions, support the flow of energy, and raise your vibration. Brighten your mood with colorful foods, such as pineapple, bananas, oranges, mango, and strawberries. Fresh lemon balm tea, hot or cold, can soothe emotions, boost immunity, and calm nerves. Stick to a whole-food-based, High Vibration Diet as much as possible. Plan a couple of cheat meals a week to indulge.
Another important part of your self-care is exercise. Although you might not feel motivated, even a short walk daily can make all the difference. Lastly, nourish yourself with plenty of sleep. Insomnia can be common after an emotionally challenging event. Do your best to rest and get plenty of sleep.
8. Cleanse Your Energy
Nature-bathing or spending time outside in nature is one of the best, easiest, and most enjoyable things you can do to cleanse your energy. Connect with plants, animals, and water. A dip in a river, a swim in a lake, a bath, or a shower can be very energetically cleansing. You can also cleanse yourself and your space via smudging with sustainably sourced white sage, cedar, flower sage, Palo Santo, or Yerba Santa. Smudging is a simple ritual designed to purify, re-energize, restore, cleanse and balance your energy and the energy around you.
9. Accept Support
No one can take away your pain or make it all better, but it’s vital that you have support during this time. Support can help you move through these emotions rather than getting stuck on them. How and when you choose to talk about your process is up to you. No matter if you feel like talking or not, start spending short periods doing activities you enjoy with those you enjoy being around. Feeling connected provides a foundation of support for you to lean on when you feel like you can’t take another step. It’s healthy to lean on others for support, but make sure this remains your process.
10. Celebrate Life
In many cultures, death is a celebration. Your soul is on an infinite journey. Life is just an experience you have, like going to school, such as Earth School. It helps you learn lessons, evolve, and experience consciousness from a different perspective. The best way to honor someone you loved after they’ve passed is to celebrate their life and allow them to live through you by making the most of your life. Let your pain fuel your passion. What would help you honor who or what you’ve lost? Maybe it’s volunteering, writing a book, or starting a support group. Be grateful and enjoy the rest of your life to the fullest.
11. Go Within to Connect
It’s challenging when you lose someone’s physical presence. You want to see them, feel their touch, and hear them laugh again. But when you get present, let go, and invite the connection, you can feel those who have passed in your heart more than ever. Check out the connection exercise below. If you’re still not feeling a connection, then hire a professional Medium to connect with loved ones who have passed. It’s best if you can find a trusted recommendation.
Connecting With a Loved One Who Has Passed
- First, get into a relaxed and receptive state by meditating for at least 20 minutes.
- Second, find a quiet and peaceful place to sit where you won’t be disturbed or distracted.
- Start with the intention of inviting your loved one to communicate with you.
- Sit with one of your loved one’s belongings such as a picture, shirt, or piece of jewelry.
- Write your loved one a letter expressing anything you’re feeling and what you want him/her to know.
- Send him/her thoughts of love. You can also talk to him/her and ask questions.
- Patience is the key to receiving a message. You might see him/her in your mind’s eye, hear a thought, or feel him/her physically. He/she may also connect with you at another point in time or even during sleep.
Questions On Grieving
How do you support someone who is grieving?
The two best things you can do to support someone who’s grieving is to be present with them and let them know you care. Everyone has a different way of dealing with grief. You can’t take away grief or save others, but you can love them and be there when they’re ready. Rather than distracting them from their sadness, join them in empathy. It’s also important to be patient with any person that’s grieving. His/her brain isn’t functioning at full capacity, so expect mistakes, forgetfulness, and mood fluctuations.
How long does grief last?
Grieving is an individual experience, so it’s best to avoid creating a time limit. Accept that it will take as long as it takes and let go of any pressure on meeting some artificial deadline. You might feel good about things now, but not tomorrow and that’s ok. Life is a process. That’s how we all experience life, as a process of growth and learning that unfolds naturally without force or fear. So let go of trying to control your life. You’re safe, loved, and here for a reason. This is a painful time, but it will pass and you’ll come out stronger than ever.
Are there benefits to grieving?
Being able to connect with your feelings openly and honestly is a gift. It helps you better understand yourself and direct your emotions in a healthier way. When you’re in tune with your feelings, it becomes a SUPERPOWER that helps you create positive change. With time and practice, you’ll begin to see the gifts everywhere. Even grief can be transformed into the most beautiful gift of gratitude.
These dark days are part of your transformation. Wisdom comes from experience and sometimes that experience is very painful. Wisdom helps you do better instead of staying bitter. It allows you to move forward from a new, more expanded perspective. That’s how these events lead to positive growth and long-term changes.
Is there anything I can do to make future grieving easier?
Yes, start doing the work on yourself now. Make a list of the most important relationships in your life and, as if this was your last communication, write out what you would like those people to know and what you would like them to say. You can also write letters to each loved one and either keep these letters for yourself or send them. This can be very beneficial to get clear before a loved one passes or before you pass. How would you like to remember others? How would you like others to remember you? What would you like to forgive or have forgiven? Use Mindful Journaling as a tool to see what needs to be acknowledged, healed, and released.
Music for Grief
Support your grieving process by listening to this “Wounds to Sounds” 396 hz cello music for healing grief and clearing negative energy. Listening to this beautiful music is soothing for your soul.
Need help with your grieving process? Contact us for support.